


It started with a party

by Geishaaa



Category: Bleach
Genre: Bleach: The DiamondDust Rebellion, Drunk Sex, Feelings Realization, Ichigo is tired, Ikkaku is clueless, Kusaka is a dick, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Rangiku is sad, Rough Sex, Tender Sex, Yamamoto is paranoid, also minor IkkaYumi, basically all the sex, but where Renji and Toshiro are having a thing on the side, cbf with fight scenes soz, past GinRan, sideline IchiRuki, sorry i keep adding tags as I remember them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:55:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29382393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geishaaa/pseuds/Geishaaa
Summary: It started with a party.All the pleasure, none of the drama – no strings attached, no commitments, and best of all, no dumb feelings of love...It was the perfect arrangement, and Renji couldn’t have been happier with it. Until-Well, until Toshiro went missing and Yamamoto called for his immediate arrest and execution.Now Renji had to get Toshiro home safely, and he would come home safely. Renji reserved the right to kill him - or fuck him senseless. Whatever came first.
Relationships: Abarai Renji/Hitsugaya Toushirou
Comments: 13
Kudos: 23
Collections: The Seireitei Server Valentine's Writing and Art Challenge 2021





	It started with a party

**Author's Note:**

> In honour of the Seireitei Discord Server’s Rare Pairs Week, I give you RenHitsu!
> 
> Oh my days, Renji is in sooooo many scenes in the Diamonddust Rebellion movie and he slips up calling Toshiro by his first name in one scene (at least in the dub). Next time you watch it, imagine that Toshiro and Renji are having a thing on the side and it totallyyy works.

It started with a party.

Renji was surprised to see him there, but he supposed he was not surprised to find him dragged in by his lieutenant, the Seireitei’s number one party gal, Rangiku Matsumoto.

Captain Hitsugaya was always a bit of an enigma, a grumpy one at that, and tonight was no different. He leaned against the wall, arms crossed, looking thoroughly displeased at having been accosted into attending Ikkaku Madarame’s ‘Fight Club’ themed birthday party. He was the only guest in uniform and the only one with a scowl on his face. He wordlessly accepted a low glass of dark alcohol from Rangiku and sipped it, eyes narrowing at the scene in front of him. When Ikkaku drunkenly tackled Shuuhei to the ground, he clenched his jaw and took a bigger sip.

Renji observed all this from the other side of the room. He just couldn’t take his eyes off the smallest captain. Tonight, he looked downright delectable.

Even in uniform, even with a scowl.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was just Renji knowing a good fuck when he saw one, but he couldn’t look away from Hitsugaya.

It only took him another three shots of tequila and a half a bottle of sake before the lieutenant finally made his way over. In the few hours that had passed, Hitsugaya hadn’t moved, hadn’t spoken to anyone unless they had spoken to him first, and even then the conversations were short-lived.

Hitsugaya was one of the Seireitei’s most beautiful men, that was no secret. The secret was what he did with it, or _who_ he did it with. Most suspected the captain didn’t engage in sexual favours – _not with that icy attitude_ – but Renji was more intelligent than people gave him credit for, or at least, he had a sharp eye. He could read people well, and he knew that Hitsugaya was no abstaining, frigid ice block. No doubt the captain had sex when he felt like it, when he was in the mood or when someone special caught his eye, but Renji sensed that was all Hitsugaya was after. No commitment, no distractions, no romance – just enough physical pleasure to satisfy him until the urge came around again.

That was exactly what Renji was after tonight, and he’d slipped a small tube of lube into his pocket just in case. He hadn’t been expecting the captain, but now it was all he could think about.

“Captain,” Renji smirked as he bowed, perhaps taking much of the respect out of the move – not that he meant to disrespect Hitsugaya, in fact he was hoping to fully worship him later.

“Abarai.”

Those teal eyes landed on Renji. They were unemotional as always, indifferent.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight.”

“I didn’t want to come.”

Brutally honest, direct, straight to the point; Renji couldn’t help but wonder if Hitsugaya had the same approach to sex.

“I think I could make you want to come.”

It was a shameless innuendo, and one that did not go unnoticed.

“That’s out of turn, Abarai.” The tone was stern.

“My apologies, Captain,” Renji grinned, unapologetic. Hitsugaya narrowed his eyes slightly, but he didn’t follow up.

The lieutenant settled against the wall, beside the captain, and watched from his perspective as the party went by.

Ikkaku attempted to tackle Captain Kyoraku only to wind up on the floor and pass out there, Rukia drew Chappies on the unconscious birthday boy’s face, and Yumichika bawled his eyes out in the corner of the room, while a too-drunk Tetsuzaemon patted his back and slurred words that were probably supposed to make Yumichika feel better but only made him cry harder.

Hitsugaya and Renji matched drink for drink, perhaps unconsciously, and Renji was surprised the smaller male could put them away as well as he did, but it was not without consequences. As the drinks wore on, Renji slowly leaned into Hitsugaya and as the drinks went on, Hitsugaya let him.

It was around the time Nanao smacked her own captain over the head with a magazine that Renji and Hitsugaya started holding hands. It was around the time Izuru declared he was going to take some party food to Momo in the Fourth that Renji managed to get his arm around Hitsugaya’s shoulders, and it was around the time Isane pointed out that Momo was comatose and thus couldn’t enjoy the party food Izuru wanted to take her that Hitsugaya leaned into Renji’s chest.

It was around the time that Rangiku and Shuuhei left none-too-discretely that Hitsugaya pulled away from Renji.

“The devil is gone,” he murmured, words slurred only slightly. “My sentence in Hell is complete.”

Renji snorted. Hitsugaya really wasn’t much of a socialiser.

But whatever, he was looking for an excuse for them to leave soon anyway.

“Let’s get your coat,” Renji chuckled, his hands sliding down to Hitsugaya’s and pulling him gently towards the entrance hallway.

“I didn’t bring a coat,” Hitsugaya informed him. Of course he didn’t, he was immune to the cold.

“Then let’s _steal_ you a coat,” Renji counter-suggested cheekily. The captain frowned at that, but his feet followed as Renji pulled him down the hall towards the coat cupboard.

They reached the cupboard and Renji pulled Hitsugaya inside quickly. The doors fell shut behind them as they squeezed in, but dull yellow light inside the cupboard illuminated them. Renji’s eyes fell to the man’s lips and without a second thought, he captured them with his own.

They were softer than any lips Renji had kissed before, but that’s all he got to take note of before two hands pushed him away swiftly.

“Did you just kiss me?” Hitsugaya sounded appalled – drunk, but appalled.

“Uh-”

“Just kidding. Do it again.”

Renji blinked, hearing the joke, then the command and then registering both in his brain a moment later. _Oh-_

He grabbed the captain by his haori and crushed their lips together again. This time the captain kissed him back, groaning a little as his mouth opened to let Renji’s tongue in.

It was messy, but sexy as fuck.

Renji grunted and pushed Hitsugaya against the cupboard’s inner wall and pinned him to it, his lips latching onto the captain’s slender neck. Hitsugaya’s hips rolled gently against Renji but it was enough to make him harden. He groaned lowly and bit down onto Hitsugaya’s shoulder.

“Can I take you home?” Renji asked huskily.

“Well I’m not standing in a cupboard with you for the conversation.”

That was how they ended up flash stepping across rooftops to get to the Sixth Division barracks. Hitsugaya hadn’t really fancied holding Renji’s hand for the journey, but when the lieutenant stumbled over a chimney and fell through a window over the Eleventh Division, Hitsugaya had grabbed his hand and dragged him out.

They made it to the Sixth, and Renji led Hitsugaya through the shadows until they finally made it to the lieutenant quarters. The wonderful thing about his quarters was that they were isolated from the rest of the barracks. Captain Kuchiki lived off site at his family manor and that meant the captain’s quarters neighbouring Renji’s home were always empty.

The moment they were in the door, Renji had the captain lifted and pinned against it, their lips crashing together once more.

There were no niceties; no ‘can I get you a drink?’

Hitsugaya’s legs came around Renji’s waist, drawing their hips together again. Renji grunted and bit Hitsugaya’s jaw as the captain reached up and ripped Renji’s ponytail from its’ tie. His hair fell down around them as Hitsugaya’s fingers weaved into it and grasped him tightly near the scalp.

The lieutenant smirked against Hitsugaya’s throat – they always loved his hair.

It was dark, and they exchanged no words other than the occasional ‘fuck’ (Renji), ‘fuck me’ (Hitsugaya) and – at one point – a ‘fuck you, Abarai. This thing is huge!’ (also Hitsugaya), but soon enough Hitsugaya was on his knees, giving Renji head by the front door. The lieutenant still had his pants around his knees and one shoe on, but he was beyond caring.

Renji wasn’t gentle, and Hitsugaya didn’t want him to be. So he held on to white spikes and thrust into the captain’s mouth. The heat was insane, the energy electric, and when Hitsugaya hollowed out his cheeks and swallowed harshly, Renji quickly came undone.

The moan that fell from Renji’s lips was not human. It was all animal, and the lieutenant was sure even Zabimaru felt that one.

No one had ever blown him like this. No one had been capable of it, yet Hitsugaya managed with practised ease.

Hitsugaya pulled off him with a slight pop, and just through the dark and his pleasured haze, Renji watched him wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. He titled his head back and smirked up at an otherwise stunned lieutenant, and the pale light of the moon through a gap in the curtains illuminated a streak across the captain’s face.

Renji could see swollen lips, a flushed cheek and a teal eye blown with lust.

And that’s why they only made it as far as the dining room table before Renji had Hitsugaya lying naked across it with three fingers in his ass.

It was lucky that Renji had kept that lube in his pocket.

“Abarai!” Hitsugaya growled between pants. “I sw-swear-”

Renji was fucking _with_ him, but not fucking him, and the captain wasn’t all too pleased about that.

“What was that, _Toshiro?”_ he chuckled. “Prostate again?”

He curled his long fingers inside Hitsugaya, and the captain choked on another loud moan, his head falling back against the table with a dull thud.

“ _F-fuck_ , I’m going to stab you so hard, Abarai!”

“I thought you wanted me to stab you?” Renji teased. “With my _huge thing?”_

Oh he enjoyed teasing this man. Unfortunately Hitsugaya was not as amused.

Regaining a moment of clarity, the captain punched Renji in the gut and the lieutenant staggered back, fingers falling out of the captain as he held his stomach, the air knocked right out of him.

Hitsugaya had him on the hardwood floor in instant and Renji had his hands pinned to the timber with a kido spelt he hadn’t heard muttered. _Damn prodigy._

“Unfair,” Renji wheezed.

“I don’t care,” Hitsugaya muttered as he lowered himself to the floor, straddling Renji’s hips. “You’re too slow, Lieutenant.”

Renji grunted, his hips jerking as Hitsugaya reached behind him and found the his cock, which had re-hardened the first time he had hit Hitsugaya’s prostate with his fingers and heard the wanton moan that had involuntarily torn from the diminutive captain’s throat.

Without any more preamble, Hitsugaya lifted himself over Renji’s cock, lined it up with his entrance and then sunk down on it.

Renji groaned as Hitsugaya sat all the way down on him. “You’re so fucking tight.”

Hitsugaya’s only response was a shuddered breath before he began to move – and move _fast._

The beauty of becoming a Soul Reaper, and then fucking other Soul Reapers, is that neither had to be gentle. They got thrown into buildings on a regular basis, and cut in half at least once in their careers. They could have rough sex against a cold, hard floor and it felt _incredible._

It was brutal, it was honest, and it was straight to the point – just as Renji had suspected.

Hitsugaya rode him relentlessly as they both gasped and moaned. Renji fought against his restraints, his body writhing beneath the merciless captain.

“Let me-Ah! Let me t-touch you.”

The captain groaned and Renji saw him shake his head as he tilted his hips slightly and slammed down on Renji from a new angle that had his nails digging into Renji’s biceps.

“Cock’s so big,” Hitsugaya moaned longingly, and Renji shuddered. _Gods, that voice-_

He must have coming undone, because after only another minute or so, the kido restraints broke over Renji’s hands and the lieutenant caught the bouncing hips quickly, helping him keep the pace up. He forced Hitsugaya down on him while his own hips thrust up, hitting Hitsugaya where he needed to be hit.

The moan that fell from the captain’s lips was the single most arousing thing Renji had ever heard, but they weren’t done yet.

Renji’s hand left Hitsugaya’s hip and found his weeping cock. One touch had the captain growling and his ass clenching, and a few well timed pumps had him spurting out across Renji’s chest. The moan and contracting muscles that followed forced Renji to climax quickly after him.

_Fucking Hell-_

Hitsugaya lifted himself off Renji’s softening cock with a slight groan before he collapsed on the floor beside him. Renji reached out and pulled the captain closer until Hitsugaya was pressed against him. They ignored the sweat and the sticky semen between them, they couldn’t feel the cold of the floor below them or the chill in the night air. They were breathless and the air around them was thick with the scent of sex.

“Again?” Hitsugaya suggested lowly after a few minutes, his finger lightly tracing one of Renji’s chest tattoos.

“Give me minute,” Renji panted. He was still seeing stars!

Hitsugaya chuckled. “I thought a former Squad Eleven fighter would have more stamina.”

Renji grunted. He was Squad Six now but Eleven still coursed through his veins and he never turned down a challenge.

Stamina he wanted? Stamina he would get.

* * *

In the morning, Renji woke up in a cold and empty bed, head pounding with the after effects of alcohol and cock twitching with memories of the previous night. He rolled onto his stomach, stretching out over the mattress and smirked into his pillow. _Captain Hitsugaya, huh?_

They had made it to the bedroom eventually, and they had gone three rounds, with each round better than the last. Eventually they had fallen asleep, as the sun was rising over the Seireitei. Hitsugaya had passed out in Renji’s arms, finally satiated. He had since disappeared.

No commitment, no distractions, no romance.

* * *

It was supposed to have been a one night stand, and it certainly started that way. Eventually, however, it seemed to become a series of ‘one’ night stands.

_“Why are you insisting I wear my haori for this?” Hitsugaya frowned, voice only trembling slightly. They were in his office, settled on the couch. It was well after hours and the door was firmly locked._

_Renji licked his lips; the captain was naked, except for the captain’s haori that hung just off his shoulders. The lieutenant hovered over him, lining up his cock with that insanely tight entrance._

_“There’s something satisfying about fucking a captain,” he answered simply, before pushing himself inside._

The first time they had been drunk and used the party as the excuse but soon, almost any excuse to fuck was a good one.

_“I’ve Ah!-always w-wanted to do this,” Renji grunted, slamming into Hitsugaya’s backside._

_He had him bent over Captain Kuchiki’s desk. That would teach his captain to berate him in front of the whole squad._

_Hitsugaya had also caught the brunt of Captain Kuchiki’s bad mood this afternoon when he had come to drop off some paperwork, and had been all too happy to make a mess of the noble’s desk. Apparently it was the ‘worst type of insult’ in his eyes._

_“Me too,” Hitsugaya groaned, panting and clawing at the wooden desk top. “Now do it h-harder.”_

And soon enough, ‘Hitsugaya’ became ‘Toshiro’ – the only captain Renji would ever call by their first name.

_Renji felt Hitsugaya’s nails digging into his back desperately. The warm spray of the shower was a far better alternative to the rain they had gotten stuck out in, and it spurred the lieutenant on._

_“I’m-Ah! I’m going to c-come,” he groaned before biting down on the captain’s shoulder._

_“R-Renji” Hitsugaya panted, taking every thrust and resulting slam into the tiled shower wall with pleasure. “C-come in me.”_

_And Renji did, choking on the captain’s first name. “Toshiro!”_

_It was the first time they climaxed hearing their names on the other’s tongue._

It was great. All the pleasure, none of the drama – no strings attached, no commitments, and best of all, no dumb feelings of love.

_“The moon looks beautiful tonight,” Renji murmured, capturing Toshiro by his waist. He lowered his lips to the man’s ears, whispering, “And so do you.”_

_They were outside. Toshiro had been training alone in his barrack’s training grounds and Renji had spied it after walking a tipsy Rangiku home from yet another lieutenants’ meeting that had turned into a piss up._

_“Shut up,” Toshiro growled, dropping his Zanpakuto in the dirt and already undoing his obi sash._

It was the perfect arrangement, and Renji couldn’t have been happier with it. Until-

Well, until Toshiro went missing and Yamamoto called for his immediate arrest and execution.

* * *

It was a shock for everyone. Toshiro was considered a captain that was rule abiding and loyal to a fault – it hit too close to home in the wake of the betrayal of Aizen, Ichimaru and Tosen.

While supervising the transport of the Royal Family’s precious artefact, the Ōin, the convoy was attacked. Toshiro abandoned his post and it appeared, from the Head Captain’s perspective, that the captain had assisted and escaped with the thieves. It was reasonable grounds on which to charge the captain with treason.

It was crazy, and Renji knew Toshiro well enough to know he wouldn’t have stolen the Ōin.

Renji rushed to the Tenth, hearing that Rangiku and the rest of her squad had returned to their barracks. He needed to know what had happened.

Rukia joined him. They had been training together when the news reached them, and she didn’t question his motives when he told her he wanted to check up on his fellow lieutenant.

Walking into the Tenth that morning was bleak. The whole of Squad Ten was being charged with treason, suspected of helping their captain, and were ordered to hand over their Zanpakutos and await their sentences.

There was uproar, but when Rangiku was the first to hand over her sword and without the complaint, Renji felt a blow to his gut. The lieutenant wasn’t fighting, and that was never a good sign.

“It is what it is,” Rangiku murmured when Renji and Rukia pulled her aside. She seemed almost resigned to the fact.

“To take such drastic action without a shred of concrete evidence...” Rukia breathed. “It seems so-”

“The Ōin that was stolen must be very important or I’d doubt they’d be doing this.”

Renji grimaced. The Head Captain lived in paranoia, and after the recent captain betrayals, it was hard to blame him. Still, Toshiro was _Toshiro_ – he was no traitor.

“I’m certain Captain Hitsugaya will return soon and straighten this mess out,” he offered Rangiku, trying to fill his voice with confidence.

“I suppose you’re right,” Rangiku sighed, her arms crossing over her chest. “Although I don’t understand why everyone suddenly left without saying a word.”

Everyone? _Oh-_

“If you think Captain Hitsugaya is like Gin Ichimaru, you’re wrong!”

He hadn’t meant to yell it, but Rangiku’s lack of fight was bothering him. She loved her captain, why was she just letting this happen?

“Renji!” Rukia hissed at him when Rangiku closed her eyes and looked away, calmly taking the blow.

She and Ichimaru had been romantically linked, it was no secret. Renji hadn’t meant to hurt her and in fact he could now empathise with her, since his lover had also disappeared and was now under suspicion of treason. The difference was that Toshiro was innocent of his crimes.

A Squad One officer approached them then, informing them that the barracks were now being locked down and Renji and Rukia needed to leave.

They apologised to Rangiku and bowed in farewell. They turned to leave and Renji took all of one step before delicate fingers caught his wrist.

“Wait!” Rangiku pleaded with him, and when he turned around her blue eyes were desperate. “There’s one more thing. I want you to check on something for me.”

She gripped his wrist tightly, eyes imploring Renji. The lieutenant felt a sharpness in her gaze, like she knew more than she let on.

Renji nodded. He’d help. Of course he would.

“The captain was chasing after a man the night he disappeared,” Rangiku informed him quietly. “I can’t help but think that they were somehow connected. Otherwise, there’s no way the captain would have-”

“I know,” Renji murmured. He reached for her shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze, promising that he would do everything he could to help bring Toshiro home and clear his name.

She mouthed her thanks and let go of his arm.

Renji and Rukia left the Tenth, the gates being locked behind them, and an uneasy feeling in their chests.

Renji’s mind was whirring. Who was the man that attacked Toshiro, and how did they know each other?

* * *

Of course Ichigo was involved.

Could nothing happen in the Seireitei anymore without him?

True to form, Renji and Rukia found their friend unconscious and bleeding on the pavement in front of his own house in the World of the Living.

Renji, feeling a lot of frustrations about the situation and in particular about Ichigo’s lack of urgency in waking up, punched him squarely in the face.

That got Ichigo’s attention at least.

“Hey!” Ichigo shot into a sitting position, clutching his rapidly bruising eye. “What’s the big idea hitting me like that?!”

“It’s your own damn fault for just lying there in the middle of the street!” Renji head-butted him. They did not have time to waste!

“Ichigo,” Rukia broke them up as she often had to. “What happened here?”

Ichigo frowned before he seemed to remember, glancing around wildly. “Where did Toshiro go?”

“Toshiro was here?” Renji blurted out, slipping up on the name. Thankfully Rukia didn’t pull him up and Ichigo wouldn’t have thought to. “Where was he? When did you see him?”

Despite his urgency, Ichigo didn’t answer. He just sighed.

“This is serious, huh?”

Renji was seriously about to punch this kid in the face once more, just for good measure, but luckily for Ichigo, Renji was mature enough (just) to know his frustrations were not the fault of him but of a certain captain who had run off.

Maybe the frustrations were professional, or maybe they were purely sexual. It was hard to say.

Still, the lieutenant followed Ichigo and Rukia back into the Kurosaki home and only cursed eight times while he waited for Ichigo to return to his human body and patch up his bloodied face.

Renji tensed when Ichigo suddenly held up an all too familiar white haori.

“That haori,” Rukia breathed, “it’s Captain Hitsugaya’s alright.”

Renji felt his frustrations flare again. He marched over to Ichigo and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around, pulling him up by his shirt.

“What were you thinking? Why did you let him go like that?!”

_What were you thinking, Toshiro?_

“Hey, back off,” Ichigo knocked his hand away, annoyingly calm and patient with Renji’s aggression today. “How do you think I ended up on the street? I tried to stop him but he was chasing after these two weird girls.”

“He what?” Renji frowned. Two weird girls?

Ichigo explained the story to them, but he didn’t seem to know much. _Useless._

Toshiro intended to return the Ōin back, which Renji had assumed on his own. Apparently he also mentioned a man named ‘Kusaka’, which Renji supposed was the man Rangiku was enquiring about. It wasn’t much to go on, and frankly, it made Renji’s frustrations rise.

Toshiro had also told Ichigo that this Kusaka guy was dead, but he had got a ‘weird look in his eyes’ when he spoke about him. Renji felt something unsettling stir in his gut about that.

“Renji,” Rukia turned to him, “I want you to go back to the Soul Society and find out everything you can about this Kusaka. It’s possible he has something to do with the person Lieutenant Matsumoto saw attacking the captain that night.”

“Sure,” Renji barely withheld the frustration from his voice, “but why don’t you go?”

Rukia had a logical reason; due to their respective ranks, Renji was far more likely to be able to see Rangiku than her. Renji wanted to stay in the human world though; Toshiro was here somewhere, he knew it, and he could find him if he stayed.

He couldn’t show he cared though. He didn’t even know why he did. In fact, he _didn’t_ care.

Toshiro was a fuck buddy, and nothing more.

_Nothing more._

“Also,” Rukia sighed, “there’s this.”

She pulled Toshiro’s haori from Ichigo’s hands and handed it to Renji. The lieutenant held it up, staring at the black symbol for ten on the otherwise white fabric. It was only two months ago that Renji made him wear that and nothing else as he fucked him on his office couch.

“I’m not looking forward to this,” he started to say, thinking of Rangiku as he flipped over the haori, but something caught his eye and he forgot the rest of his sentence.

The inside of the haori was covered with blood. _Toshiro was-_

Renji stared down at it, breathing ceased. He didn’t move, unable to look away from the deep red stain against the regal emerald green.

Under the fabric, the lieutenant’s hands trembled slightly. Wherever his dumb lover was, he was injured badly.

He realised, quite suddenly, that he did care about that.

“Rukia, can you give us a moment?” Ichigo’s voice seemed distant in Renji’s mind, despite being in the same small bedroom.

There were light footsteps and then a door clicked shut, but Renji barely heard that over the blood pounding in his ears.

“I know about you and Toshiro,” Ichigo stated lowly, much closer now.

Renji finally broke his gaze from the haori, though his fingers curled tighter around the fabric. He glanced up at Ichigo who was watching him closely.

“It’s ‘Captain Hitsugaya’ to you.”

Ichigo ignored that, as he would have if Toshiro had said it to him himself.

“He’s a genius but he’s also emotionally inept,” Ichigo sighed. “Everything he is doing, he’s trying to do it alone so you and Rangiku don’t get caught up in it.”

Renji shoved passed his friend and moved towards the door. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His tone was harsh, but Ichigo as per usual was not perturbed.

“Actually I do,” Ichigo called back to him just as Renji’s hand hit the door handle. “He told me.”

Renji stood frozen at the door, bloodied haori grasped tightly in one hand. He clenched it tighter and glanced back over his shoulder at Ichigo.

“Told you what?” 

_Ichigo eyed Toshiro from where he sat on the bed, knees pulled up to his shoulders, blanket wrapped around his legs and a pained grimace on his face. He was holding pressure to his wound._

_“Let me call Orihime,” Ichigo sighed, but it may have sounded like begging. His friend was hurt, and even though that friend was being an ass right now, Ichigo still couldn’t bear to watch him suffer._

_“No,” Toshiro answered firmly, sharp eyes piercing him for a moment. ”No one else is getting involved. You’re not getting involved.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“That’s none of your concern, Kurosaki.”_

_“Cut the crap, Toshiro,” Ichigo shot him a glare. “Why don’t you let your friends help you?”_

_“I can’t risk it,” Toshiro all but snapped in return, and Ichigo could see the stress and frustration in his face, he could hear the pain and fatigue in his voice, and the overall sense of desperation. Ichigo realised he knew that feeling._

_“You don’t want them to get hurt,” Ichigo breathed, deflating a little. It was hard to reason with that._

_Toshiro looked away, inhaling shakily as he did, and Ichigo knew he had struck the right nerve._

_“No one else can get hurt for me,” the captain murmured quietly, looking decidedly away, “I won’t allow them to. Not Matsumoto or my squad, not… not anyone else.”_

_“I get it,” Ichigo sighed, slumping back in his desk chair. “I couldn’t live with myself if any of my friends got hurt for me… especially Rukia.”_

_He hadn’t admitted his feelings for Rukia to anyone before, but he felt like he should give back some of the vulnerability that Toshiro was showing him._

_Teal eyes landed on Ichigo and they held empathy._ _“You should tell her how you feel.”_

_Ichigo exhaled in resignation. “Gods, no. I’m pretty sure she and Renji are a thing anyway.”_

_That made the captain chuckle, and Ichigo gawked at both hearing Toshiro laugh and seeing the amused grin on his face._

_“Kuchiki and Abarai are not a ‘thing’,” Toshiro chuckled. Somehow this was entertaining to him._

_Ichigo shot him a questioning look. “How do you know Renji doesn’t like Rukia?”_

_Toshiro smirked. “She doesn’t have enough cock for him.”_

_Ichigo choked and spluttered, realising the implication. “Renji is gay?!”_

_“I should hope so,” Toshiro hummed, “otherwise letting him fuck me over his captain’s desk was a big mistake.”_

Ichigo was bright red by the time he finished his story, and Renji couldn’t help but chuckle dryly.

“You like Rukia?”

“Is that all you took from that?!” 

Pitch any higher and Ichigo would have been shrieking. Renji clapped him on that back, as if to say ‘hey, it’s okay’.

In truth, Ichigo’s crush on Rukia was not all Renji took from that story, but it was a nice distraction.

 _“The point is,”_ Ichigo huffed, shooting Renji a dangerous glare that dared him to speak about Rukia again, “Toshiro is trying to protect you. He has feelings for you, I could see it.”

Renji made a noncommittal grunt and stepped away from his friend, holding the haori in two hands again. That icy bastard. 

_“And,”_ Ichigo continued, “I can see you have feelings for him too.”

Renji didn’t look up but he could feel those concerned brown eyes scrutinising him.

“Yeah,” Renji sighed. It was all he could say.

It hadn’t been a perfect arrangement after all.

“That’s why you’re so worried,” Ichigo murmured. Trust him to take Renji’s frustrations and turn them into concern. He patted Renji’s shoulder. “We’ll find him, don’t worry. We’ll bring him home safely.”

Renji hummed in agreement as he looked back down at the haori. Toshiro would come home safely, because Renji reserved the right to kill him – or fuck him senseless. Whatever came first.

* * *

Getting in to see Rangiku was more difficult than Renji had hoped; that damn Marechiyo was a pinhead.

Luckily Captain Kyoraku arrived with Nanao and he got Renji through. They sat out on the front porch of Rangiku’s quarters. She emerged looking terrible – a weird thing to ever say about Rangiku’s physical appearance. She looked like she hadn’t slept or ate since her captain’s disappearance, and honestly Renji couldn’t blame her.

Rangiku and Toshiro had always been close, Renji had known that way before he had started fucking the man.

“Kusaka?” Rangiku repeated. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard him mention that name before.”

Renji sighed. If Rangiku didn’t know, then no one did – it was a dead end.

Luckily Nanao was there to pick their asses up. She launched into strategy mode, as she broke down all the unanswered questions and where they could start their search for the truth.

She was no fun at parties, but gods was she the woman you wanted on side on game night.

Not only did she agree to help them, but she roped Kyoraku into spending a night in the Seireitei Library with her. Sorceress, that woman.

And it got Rangiku laughing, which was as good a sign as any.

There was no good time for Renji’s next task, but it had to be done.

“There’s uh,” he grimaced, “something else.”

He gestured to her quarters, quietly implying they should head somewhere more private for this. Rangiku’s smile dropped, but she moved inside quickly.

Following behind her, Renji knelt by her side. Kyoraku and Nanao joined them, closing the door behind them.

Renji took a steadying breath – he really didn’t want to do this next thing… for _two_ reasons.

He pulled out the folded haori from his kosode, catching a glimpse of Squad Ten’s symbol on the back before Rangiku’s trembling hands took it off him.

She knew exactly what to look for, opening the fabric up and gasping when she saw the dried blood inside.

“He’s hurt.”

Rangiku was a happy-go-lucky kind of woman, and a strong lieutenant, but never had her voice sounded so small and scared before.

Renji lowered his head, wanting to soothe her, but knowing she needed to hear the truth.

“According to Ichigo, he was hurt pretty bad,” Renji whispered, trying to keep his own voice in check.

Rangiku’s eyes filled with tears, but she kept them at bay.

“I don’t know if I should be happy because he’s alive,” she murmured, voice thick, “or upset because he left his haori behind and just disappeared.”

That Renji understood. He was so confused with his own feelings right now – this was not the way someone should find out they have unrequited feelings for an emotionally constipated captain.

“This is a mess,” Kyoraku sighed deeply then. “He must know we’re all worried about him.”

The four of them grimaced in unison.

“Let’s get started on our search,” Nanao picked them up again. “Captain, let’s head to the library and see what we can find out.”

The two Eighth Squad leaders stood quietly and bowed to Rangiku before they left. Renji lingered back, unable to move. This was a lot to process.

Rangiku brought the haori to her chest and held it there, her head ducking and eyes clenching shut as she took a minute for herself.

Over her shoulder, Renji noticed the photo frames on the mantel. Rangiku had quite a collection. _She would_ , Renji supposed.

There were photographs of her with her friends in the SWA, and the other lieutenants – Renji even spotted himself in a few. He chose to ignore one of the traitor, Captain Ichimaru. The ones Renji took an interest in were the ones of Toshiro. He was easily the most featured person on the mantel, and in almost every photo he was smiling. It was a rare and beautiful sight, but Renji considered himself lucky enough to have seen it. He was lucky enough to see many parts of Toshiro that others didn’t.

“He must really love you,” Renji murmured and Rangiku nodded.

“Yeah,” she replied shakily, hugging the haori closer. “He does.”

“He left you behind to protect you.”

“I know,” Rangiku sighed, and finally those blue eyes opened again. “I hate it, but I understand why.”

“What do you mean?” Renji frowned.

Rangiku sighed heavily. “He thinks he failed to protect Momo. He’s not going to let that happen to you and me.”

“You and me?” Renji repeated, eyes snapping to her.

A small smirk played at Rangiku’s lips then – finally a hint of the woman Renji was used to seeing.

“Captain has been happier lately,” she drawled, voice only lightly teasing as she folded the haori into her lap, “and don’t think I haven’t seen you lingering around our barracks, Renji – especially after seeing you two so cosy at Ikkaku’s party.”

Renji grimaced at that. He really didn’t think Toshiro would enjoy the details of that night getting out.

“Listen, my captain is expecting me back,” Renji sighed and stood. Realistically, his captain had been expecting him back six hours ago. “If you hear anything, let me know.”

Rangiku nodded. “Likewise.”

Renji agreed and turned to leave.

* * *

If things were fucked up before, then Captain Kyoraku being found on the brink of death with a jagged spear of ice through his chest took ‘fucked up’ to a whole new level.

Renji could still hear Nanao’s howling cries in the hallway, feeling like she had failed to protect her captain. He could still hear Unohana shouting instructions in the next room, her team desperately trying to save a dying man. He could hear Ukitake’s coughing over the phone as the sick captain forced himself out of bed to rush to the Fourth.

The Sixth had been tasked with investigating the attack on Captain Kyoraku – that's why they had been at the Fourth, and that’s why they were now at the scene of the attack.

It didn’t look good. Ice everywhere, none of it melting, freezing cold Spiritual Pressure lingering even hours later.

Renji stood amongst the icy debris and knelt down, spotting something familiar. It was a piece of Kyoraku’s famous pink kimono and it was frozen. He curled his fingers around it and the material shattered in his hand. Pink ice chips fell through Renji’s fingers as he stared in shock.

“There’s no doubt about it,” Captain Kuchiki stated tonelessly behind Renji as he inspected further debris. “It was Hyorinmaru.”

Renji inhaled sharply. _No, it couldn’t be-_

And then things got worse. Things always got worse when the Seireitei messengers dropped in.

“Captain Kuchiki,” the messenger knelt low in front of the captain. “Squad Three Lieutenant Kira and Shuuhei Hisagi, acting captain of Squad Nine, tracked down Captain Hitsugaya in the World of the Living. They were badly injured trying to arrest him.”

Renji froze – he knew he should have stayed to look for Toshiro there!

Captain Kuchiki dismissed the messenger, with the instruction to report his findings at the crime scene to the Head Captain and Captain Ukitake. The messenger bowed low before he stood and flash stepped away.

“Captain, I-” Renji swallowed. “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe Captain Hitsugaya harmed Captain Kyoraku.”

Challenging his captain had never proven successful, Renji realised, but he could hardly stand by idly this time. He had almost lost Rukia the last time he hadn’t spoken up when he felt something was off.

Captain Kuchiki was not amused, pursing his lips together.

“You’re speaking out of turn, Lieutenant,” Kuchiki said sternly before he turned away.

Renji grabbed his captain’s arm – something he was sure to be punished for later. Grey eyes snapped to him and they were sharp. They reminded Renji of the razor petals of the man’s shikai. 

But he had to do this.

“Please, Captain,” Renji pleaded quietly. “I know Toshiro couldn’t have done this. Let me explain.”

* * *

Renji paced nervously in his captain’s office, waiting for Kuchiki to return from the Twelfth. He had gone with Ukitake to see Captain Kurotsuchi – to ask about _twin_ Zanpakutos. It was crazy, but it was the only explanation anyone could think of – and apparently the mysterious Kusaka might have been involved, whoever he was.

Surprisingly, Captain Kuchiki had allowed Renji to explain why he felt so strongly that Toshiro hadn’t done it – maybe it was the name slip up. They had returned to their office for privacy, and explaining to his captain that he was in a _mostly physical_ relationship with the captain of Squad Ten was possibly the most painfully awkward thing Renji had ever done. Kuchiki had been about to dismiss Renji’s explanation, but he listened when the lieutenant admitted to… to _falling in love._

Byakuya Kuchiki knew what it was to fall in love. He also knew what it was to lose the one you love too.

Renji was starting to know the former, and he desperately feared the latter.

“Hitsugaya would never leave Kyoraku for dead,” Renji had sworn on his life. “They’re friends.”

Well… Kyoraku was a weird, perverted, uncle-type figure, but ‘friend’ sounded more professional.

“The evidence is overwhelming, Abarai,” Kuchiki had sighed. “Hyorinmaru’s Spiritual Pressure was present. Not to mention, your friends identified him as their attacker in the World of the Living.”

Renji had grimaced. Toshiro had _probably definitely_ attacked those two idiots Renji called his friends, but in his defence, Shuuhei and Izuru were trying to arrest him. Besides, he didn’t try to kill them like whoever had attacked Kyoraku.

“Check with Forensics,” Renji had begged. “If these two incidents were at the same time, then how could have Hitsugaya done both? They were literally worlds apart.”

Captain Kuchiki’s brow had furrowed then, and Renji knew he was finally on to something. The captain walked around his desk and reached for the phone, while Renji watched, holding his breath.

Well Forensics had confirmed the time of both attacks were too close together that Toshiro could have travelled between the worlds to be at both events. Renji had sighed hard in relief, while Kuchiki looked astounded that his lieutenant could have figured that out on his own.

Like Renji had said, _he knew_ Toshiro hadn’t attacked Kyoraku. The evidence had to be somewhere.

Captain Kuchiki had gone to speak to Ukitake and Nanao at the Fourth and then contacted Renji that the two captains were heading to the Twelfth – apparently Nanao had found some information about the mysterious Kusaka and that had given them a new lead. Twin Zanpakutos were unheard of, but if anyone could find out, it was Captain Kurotsuchi. 

Renji continued to pace nervously, awaiting any news, when a loud crash was heard, loud enough to be the thunder of lightning that had directly struck overhead. Renji ran to the window, eyes widening when he saw the electricity sparking wildly over Sokyoku Hill.

_Toshiro-_

Renji was already out the door when the Hell Butterflies descended on them.

“Red alert! All squad members in the World of the Living and Soul Society, Captain Hitsugaya’s Spiritual Pressure and the man suspected of stealing the Ōin have been detected on Sokyoku Hill. Return to your stations and prepare for battle. I repeat, return to your stations and prepare for battle!”

Renji was preparing for battle alright. His lover was coming home, kicking and screaming if necessary.

Renji was in love with him, damn it! 

He was one of the first there, alongside Ikkaku and Yumichika.

Toshiro was there too, beautiful even while scowling ( _especially while scowling,_ Renji thought), and a tall stranger Renji could only guess to be Sojiro Kusaka. _Not so dead, huh?_

“Captain Hitsugaya!” Renji called out as he dropped out of his flash step and landed lightly on the hill. “What are you trying to prove?!” _Come home!_

“Forget it, Renji,” Ikkaku muttered. “What difference does it make? An executive order from the Head Captain has been issued. Our duty is to arrest Toshiro Hitsugaya and the Ōin thief.”

“Ikkaku Madarame,” Kusaka drawled, and somehow he knew of Ikkaku’s power and abilities.

Ikkaku was flattered of course, but it didn’t change his mind. Kusaka wasn’t perturbed, claiming to be more powerful – and that’s when Ikkaku struck.

To Renji’s shock Toshiro intercepted the third seat’s blade and forced him back. The captain’s injury was showing though, as he stumbled back and barely caught himself. Renji’s eyes fell to the large blood stain over his kosode, of which much of the blood still looked wet – _fresh._

“Even with those wounds” Ikkaku tilted his head. “You must really wanna save this guy.”

Toshiro said nothing, yet it spoke volumes. Renji wondered what made Kusaka so special to him. I tugged at a familiar cord of jealousy in his chest.

“Captain Hitsugaya!” Renji tried again. “What the Hell were you thinking?!”

“You’re in my way,” Toshiro murmured, just loud enough that Renji heard him. He even sounded weak – there was no way he was going to last an all-out battle.

Renji’s eyes met Toshiro’s and they pleaded. _Back down!_

Teal spoke back to him. _I can’t-_

Renji felt his heart clench. _Fine_ , kicking and screaming it was.

“Roar,” Renji breathed, unsheathing his sword. “Zabimaru!”

Toshiro was prepared for that one more than he had been for Ikkaku’s attack, apparently. He skilfully dodged Zabimaru’s whip-like Shikai and before Renji could pull it back, the chain of Hyorinmaru’s Shikai was wrapped securely around it, catching it by the teeth. Toshiro yanked back, forcing Renji off stance but the lieutenant refused to drop his Zanpakuto. He found his feet and planted down, pulling back on Toshiro until Hyorinmaru’s chain was pulled tight.

This would have been sexy if Renji wasn’t so damn worried about the guy.

_Please, Toshiro-_

“This is far enough!” 

Renji didn’t move after hearing Soifon’s voice. She marched past him alongside Captain Komamura and, to Renji’s slight surprise, Captain Kuchiki.

“Captain-” _Had Toshiro been cleared of the attack against Kyoraku?_

Around them, hundreds of Soul Reapers suddenly appeared, flash stepping onto the scene.

“Throw down your weapon, Hitsugaya!” Soifon demanded.

“You too,” Komamura glared at Kusaka, “whoever you are.”

Hyorinmaru’s chain unwrapped itself from Zabimaru and flew back to its owner, Toshiro catching it in the air. Neither him nor Kusaka dropped their weapons, and in fact, Kusaka had the gall to laugh. He really was an ass.

“That’s enough,” Komamura growled. “You are under arrest.”

Renji locked eyes with Toshiro, pleading silently with him. He could see the pain in his lover’s eyes, and the regret. Toshiro stared back at him, eyes almost glassy.

 _I’m sorry,_ they said.

“Toshiro, haven’t you endured enough?” Kusaka asked menacingly. Toshiro’s eyes slid to him, hardening.

Renji continued to watch Toshiro, reading into all the hurt he was exuding, the hurt that wasn’t from his physical wounds. Hitsugaya had endured something terrible, that was for sure, but Renji got the distinct feeling Kusaka was the cause, not the solution.

“Now is the time,” Kusaka continued. “Let's teach these arrogant fools a lesson! For all the hatred, for all the suffering we’ve endured! This is our revenge!”

He held up the Ōin, and it glowed brightly. Renji gasped – he could feel its power and it was suffocating; stronger than any Gotei Thirteen captain, stronger than even Ichigo at his best.

Toshiro turned sharply to Kusaka then, his sword following.

“Cut the Ōin! Do it, Toshiro!” 

“Seize them immediately!” Soifon ordered, and all the Soul Reapers and Stealth Force Ninjas charged forward. 

Renji made to move, needing to reach Hitsugaya before the rest of them, but his captain grabbed his arm.

Renji whipped around, boldly glaring at the noble captain, but Kuchiki merely shook his head in warning.

Thankfully, that was the moment Ichigo decided to drop back into the unfolding drama. This time, however, he was useful, cutting the charging crowd off from Toshiro with a blast of his Bankai. Renji exhaled in relief as the Soul Reapers were forced to stop their charge on Toshiro.

Ichigo dropped down onto the scene beside Rukia, standing between Toshiro and the Gotei Thirteen.

“Stop!” the substitute demanded. “There’s not one among you who really wants to kill Toshiro, is there? And even if it is an order, don’t you think you should think twice before you draw your sword against your friend?”

Naturally, Soifon had something to say about that. An order was an order in her eyes. A year ago, Renji would have agreed. In fact, he had agreed – when he arrested Rukia. Now the thought of it made him feel sick. He had almost lost the only family he had ever had because of blind loyalty. Renji had vowed never to make the same mistake again.

Ichigo and Soifon argued over the issue, but eventually the Head Captain arrived, silencing all arguments.

And he wasn’t alone.

Soul Reapers dropped to their knee quickly as Yamamoto passed, closely followed by Rangiku, Nanao, and an alive but barely standing Captain Kyoraku.

“Shunsui,” Ukitake’s soft voice called to his old friend. “You’re back on your feet.”

“Yeah, I know,” Kyoraku tipped his straw hat. “I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I’d let an innocent man be executed.”

Toshiro hadn’t done it. Renji sighed in relief as he knelt, even though he had known that in his heart already. He was glad to have Toshiro’s name cleared.

“So you’re still alive,” Yamamoto stopped at the front of the crowd, “Sojiro Kusaka.”

“You really thought you had killed me off, huh?” Kusaka’s eyes, an unnerving red, pierced the Head Captain. “Sorry.”

“I take it the Ōin is what brought you back to life,” Yamamoto guessed. “And you had been resurrected and given a second chance in Hueco Mundo.”

“Yes,” Kusaka confirmed with a smirk. “And now I’m here to stay.”

Not on Renji’s life, he wasn’t.

Kusaka then revealed his plan to them all – he was going to use the Ōin to become King of the Soul Society.

He cared about power and revenge, nothing more. Toshiro was but a tool for him to use and then throw away.

Renji stared at his lover, whom still had his back to all of them. Toshiro was the smartest man Renji knew; surely he knew Kusaka was not his friend. Surely he knew Kusaka was evil.

And he did, for a moment later, Toshiro launched himself at Kusaka, blade drawn. Kusaka blocked him, eyes wide with shock – he hadn’t been expecting the betrayal. 

Renji got to his feet, unconsciously reaching out for his lover.

Rangiku ran forward. “Captain, no!”

“Stay back, Matsumoto!” Toshiro ordered as he was knocked back and just managed to land on his feet again. His voice was emotional. “This is my fight!”

“What is the meaning of this, Hitsugaya?!” Kusaka snapped. “They’re the ones you should fight.”

“You’re evil,” Toshiro snarled at him as Renji’s heart skipped. “And it was never my intention to be on your side.”

There was the man Renji knew – there was the man he was falling for.

It raised some questions though, mostly from Kurotsuchi and Soifon, on why Toshiro left his post and why he attacked his colleagues when they tried to arrest Kusaka.

Mentally, Renji was starting to put things together.

“You want to fight me?” Kusaka screamed at Toshiro. “Killing me once wasn’t enough for you?”

“I’m just trying to make amends for the mistakes that I’ve made,” Toshiro murmured softly in return.

And then Toshiro struck again, and this time Kusaka expected it. They slashed at each other, their swords clanging and scraping as they blocked and parried. Renji watched, eyes following every movement and silently praying that Toshiro maintained the advantage.

The pieces of the puzzle were finally coming together. Renji realised he understood a little more now.

Kusaka, with his twin Zanpakuto to Toshiro’s, had been executed for it. He blamed Toshiro, and though Renji didn’t yet know the specifics of how that had played out, he knew in his heart that Toshiro couldn’t have killed someone he considered a friend – or whatever Kusaka was to him.

Naturally, Toshiro blamed himself anyway. Of course he did, just like he blamed himself for Momo’s injuries at Aizen’s hands. Anything that Toshiro couldn’t protect his loved ones from, he considered his fault.

Seeing Kusaka again must have been painful. All the guilt and memories, bubbling back to the surface. Renji grimaced – he got the distinct feeling that Kusaka had meant more than a friend to Toshiro. It was hard to believe, with how evil the man had become and how horrible he treated Toshiro, that they could have ever been lovers.

But Renji was good at reading people, and he knew that’s what they had once been.

Toshiro had risked everything for him. His captaincy, his squad – even his life, just to try and settle things between them.

“So you knew all along it would come to this?” Kusaka growled, his blade and Toshiro’s pushing against each other for dominance.

“Of course,” Toshiro snarled.

It did fill Renji with some pride that with all Toshiro had risked, it hadn’t been for loyalty to Kusaka. Toshiro had known Kusaka had to be stopped.

“I thought you were more intelligent than that, but I guess I was wrong,” Kusaka closed his eyes, as if accepting this as the new truth. Asshole. 

He forced Toshiro back and held up the Ōin, the power of which pushed Toshiro back further. The captain managed to catch himself, landing in a low stance.

“I’ll just have to do this myself,” Kusaka yelled as the Ōin glowed again. “Answer to me, Ōin!”

“Don’t do this!” Toshiro yelled back but it was too late.

Kusaka believed his bankai to be powerful enough to cut the Ōin and he was right. He threw the artefact up before slicing his sword quickly through it. Light erupted from the Ōin, and then power exploded from it. 

Renji was forced to take a step back from the sheer pressure of the power, and he heard Toshiro scream Kusaka’s name.

_Toshiro!_

He had been so close to the blast. When the light finally faded, Renji felt his heart stop, seeing Toshiro lying on the ground. To his surprise, it wasn’t Kusaka or the Ōin that had knocked Toshiro down, but Ichigo who had punched him in the face.

Renji shot Ichigo a glare. Just because he had punched the substitute earlier, did not give Ichigo the right to punch his tiny lover in return-

“You’ve tried to endure all of this alone,” Ichigo, ignoring Renji’s sharp glare, yelled at down at Toshiro. “Your friends wanna help but you won’t let them. Have you thought about how that makes them feel?”

Ichigo glanced at Renji then, and the lieutenant realised that maybe the punch wasn’t revenge for Renji’s earlier actions, but actually coming from a place of protectiveness. Renji glanced over to Rangiku, who was staring at her captain with concern, but also with her pain in her eyes. This was something Toshiro needed to hear.

Toshiro lifted his head, and Renji could see his eyes again. He saw regret swimming in the teal again – he knew he had hurt them.

Slowly, Toshiro got to his feet. He looked heartbroken, and Renji wanted to kiss that off his face, he wanted to see that sly, sexy smile again.

“Captain!” he called out. He needed Toshiro to know he was still with him, now more than ever.

And then others called out his name or his rank too. Soul Reapers from the Tenth, his captain friends, everyone who loved and respected him.

Toshiro turned slowly around, his eyes finding Rangiku’s first and she nodded to him. They then fell to Renji, who sent him a small smile in return, his eyes hopefully speaking the words he couldn’t say out loud.

_I’m falling in love with you. Let’s finish this together._

Toshiro turned back around. “Get ready to fight, Ichigo. He’s coming.”

* * *

When Renji woke up, he was face down on hard rock. _Well that had been a disaster._ He and Captain Kuchiki had charged Kusaka together, Shikais flying, but they had been knocked down quickly.

Renji groaned, rolling over, but the sight that met him was one he never expected to see.

The Seireitei’s sky was purple.

Renji scrambled to his feet and looked around. He felt for nearby Spiritual Pressures and found the most important one quickly. _Toshiro-_

Flash stepping off, Renji landed on a roof and glanced down, desperately looking for his little lover. 

Toshiro was okay, thank the Gods. He was crouching beside Rangiku in the rubble, seemingly reconnecting with her as he took her hands in his and squeezed them.

Ichigo and Rukia were also there, and Renji jumped down, calling their names. He desperately wanted to go to Toshiro but he knew the two Squad Ten leaders needed a private moment.

“Renji, what’s wrong?” Rukia asked when he landed in front of her.

 _What’s wrong?_ Renji was falling in love with a captain who was still bleeding from his injuries and whose ex was trying to kill them all!

“What’s wrong?” Renji echoed, pushing his thoughts aside. “Take a look around.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Toshiro standing to face him. Those teal eyes were boring into him.

“Looks like Kusaka has built himself a castle,” Renji continued as everyone else stared at the purple sky. “And from what I can tell, we're trapped inside some kind of spiritual wall.”

He turned to face Toshiro, the only person still looking at him.

Teal met brown and Renji could only see remorse and sorrow in the captain’s eyes. He offered a small smile back to Toshiro, telling him it was okay – that all was forgiven.

There would be a discussion, provided they both survived this, but Renji wasn’t angry. He just wanted to take Toshiro home – or the hospital, preferably. 

“Ichigo!” Yoruichi’s voice called and Renji turned to see her and Soifon materialising. 

Apparently most of the other Soul Reapers were on the outside, battling the wall to get through, but those who were stuck inside needed to move quickly, getting up Kusaka’s tower of ice and destroying it.

They had no choice but to climb up the mountain Kusaka had created, but it wouldn’t be easy, especially as hundreds of Hollows had just appeared. 

“Forget the Hollows,” Yoruichi called back to Ichigo. “We can take care of them!”

She shot off after them, Soifon following as her haori broke away.

They left as Ikkaku and Yumichika appeared, battle ready. No fight could go down without those two sniffing it out.

“To get to our goal, we’ve got to go straight up!” Ichigo announced. 

“Right!” Renji agreed, eyes staring up at Kusaka’s tower hungrily. Kusaka was going to regret hurting Toshiro.

“Captain?” Rangiku’s voice was soft, but Renji heard and turned to see her holding Toshiro’s folded haori. “I brought this.”

Toshiro stared at it for a moment, and then at her. Rangiku beamed back at him encouragingly. The captain looked around, as if seeing what everyone else thought – to see if they thought he was worthy enough to don his uniform again.

They all smiled and when those uncertain teal eyes found Renji again, the lieutenant nodded subtly. _Go ahead._

Hitsugaya took the haori from Rangiku and slipped it on wordlessly. He untied the sash holding his sword in his hand and returned it to its usual spot across his chest and back, pinned together with a small bronze badge.

“Matsumoto?”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Watch my back, will you?”

“Yes, Sir!”

Captain Hitsugaya was back. Toshiro was home.

Renji couldn’t help but smile widely, especially when Toshiro shot him his trademark scowl.

Gods, he was beautiful.

“We’ll form two groups. You three with me,” Hitsugaya pointed to Rangiku, Ikkaku and Yumichika before he turned back to Renji. “Abarai, take Kuchiki and Kurosaki and make your way up the other side. We need to divide and conquer.”

“Yes, Sir,” Renji nodded, only just withholding the smirk at seeing Hitsugaya returning to his decisive leader role. It suited him.

“Be careful,” Hitsugaya ordered him. “All of you.”

The teal was piercing Renji, though he had spoken to all of them. Renji promised him silently to stay safe. It must have still been hard for him to let his friends fight his battles. 

The captain nodded, seemingly satisfied, and set off with his team.

“Let’s go,” Renji called to Ichigo and Rukia before he flash-stepped off towards the other side of Kusaka’s monstrosity.

“Wait up, Renji!” Ichigo called after him, following quickly. “There’s something you need to know about Kusaka.”

“What is it?” Renji glanced back over his shoulder as they flew through the air.

“I saw his memories,” Ichigo informed him quietly, just over the wind rushing past them. “He was Toshiro’s ex at the academy.”

It hurt to hear it, but Renji had suspected a romantic link between them. “Yeah, I figured.”

“There’s one more thing,” Ichigo continued lowly as they landed on more rock. 

Renji raised an eyebrow at Ichigo as his friend grimaced, clearly about to deliver some bad news.

* * *

The battle was won.

At least that's what Renji assumed when the purple spiritual wall broke down, and he was left staring up at a gloomy overcast sky. It was miserable, but it was how he left it.

He helped Rukia to her feet, hugging her close for a moment. There had been a terrifying moment when he, Rukia and Ichigo had stared death in the face – ‘death’ being a hundred odd Menos Grande blasting their cero beams at them. Captain Kuchiki, apparently also stuck inside the wall, had saved them, appearing at the right time with his Bankai.

“Well,” Captain Kuchiki murmured, “now it’s finally over.”

Rukia sighed in relief, turning to smile at her brother, while Renji closed his eyes and allowed himself a moment of respite.

_It was over._

Renji could still feel Toshiro’s Spiritual Pressure, so he knew the captain was okay, likely making his way down from his side of the tower. Kusaka’s Spiritual Pressure, although similar to Toshiro’s since their Zanpakutos were twins, couldn't be felt – Renji was certain he knew the difference – which meant Kusaka had died.

“Come on,” Renji murmured, throwing his arm over Rukia’s shoulders. “Let’s find everyone.”

They travelled back down the remnants of Kusaka’s destroyed tower, back to where they had all set off from. Rangiku, Ikkaku and Yumichika arrived shortly after and they exchanged tales.

Just as Captain Kuchiki, Rukia and Renji had cleared a path for Ichigo to get to the top, Rangiku’s team had pooled their strength to get Toshiro through.

They heard more voices, and Renji turned to see the captains and lieutenants that had been on the outside of the wall making their way back in. Renji and Rangiku relayed their stories to the Head Captain, who then left satisfied and called over his shoulder for Rangiku to ‘ensure Captain Hitsugaya turns in a mission report’ on the matter.

It seemed all was well.

The other captains and lieutenants dispersed too, heading off to deal with the damage to their barracks, but a few stayed, namely the leaders of the Eighth and Thirteenth, who of course wanted to make sure their ‘little Shiro-chan’ was safe and sound.

Without Momo around, Renji had forgotten the infamous nickname – but he sure as Hell was going to bring it up next time he got to tease Toshiro.

A few minutes later, Ichigo and Toshiro finally dropped down from the tower.

Rangiku had Toshiro in one of her tight embraces instantly, hugging him close. Renji watched with a smile, knowing they deserved this moment as a priority. Ichigo shook Renji’s hand as he passed by, silently handing over the baton of care. The substitute moved to Rukia and took her hand – apparently Ichigo had gathered the courage to confess his feelings to her. Renji was happy for them, and he wished Ichigo all the luck in the world in getting that past Captain Kuchiki.

Finally, Rangiku released Toshiro when it was clear he could no longer breathe buried in her chest. He handed her the Ōin, fully restored.

“It’s our squad’s duty to get it back to the Soul King,” he told her.

“Yes, Sir,” Rangiku grinned back as she accepted the Ōin.

Toshiro squeezed her arm before he stepped away, looking around until his eyes found Renji’s.

Renji smiled weakly at him, just glad to see him okay.

Toshiro moved towards him then, walking with purpose. When he reached Renji, he grabbed the lieutenant by his kosode collar and pulled him down, crashing their lips together.

Renji melted instantly, not realising how much he needed this kiss. His arms wrapped around the captain’s waist and pulled him close, kissing him back deeply. A cold hand held Renji’s jaw, not caring who saw.

There was no doubt about it; Renji was in love with Toshiro Hitsugaya.

They pulled back breathlessly to the sounds of their cheering friends, and Toshiro leaned further into Renji’s embrace.

“Well I did not see that coming,” Ikkaku gave an impressed whistle, “and I consider my Gaydar to be pretty good.”

Rangiku snorted. “Yumichika has been in love with you for years.”

“He what?!” Ikkaku choked as everyone laughed. Poor Yumichika could only grimace, his cheeks crimson.

Renji’s laughed with them, his arms tightening around Toshiro, who had tucked himself under the lieutenant’s chin.

“Abarai,” Toshiro murmured quietly.

“Hmm?” Renji planted a kiss to the captain’s snowy crown.

“I think I need to go to the hospital.”

Ah, yes – _that._

“Shit,” Renji cursed, already scooping the rapidly weakening Toshiro up into his arms – the adrenaline was finally wearing off. He gestured to Rangiku that he’d take care of her captain before he shot off for the Fourth.

* * *

Renji reclined on Toshiro’s bed, waiting for the captain to return home. He had been in the Fourth for a week, his injury severe and worsened by the various battles, but at last Unohana had released him from her care.

Rangiku was walking him home from the hospital. He was to rest in his quarters for another few days before returning to duty. Naturally Toshiro was grumpy about this, impatient to work again (and catch up on paperwork), but he complied with Unohana’s orders, if only for the sake of his worried friends and squad.

Renji had let himself into Toshiro’s quarters to arrange a small homecoming surprise, having somehow managed to get the afternoon off from his duties.

He lit some candles and scattered rose petals over the captain’s bed, before stripping off and lying across it fully nude. Finally he heard their voices approaching.

Of course, Toshiro and Rangiku were bickering again. Renji smirked as he heard the front door open.

“We should go to that hot spring!” 

“No.”

“Captain, don’t be a stick in the mud!”

They were approaching the bedroom, so Renji rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow.

“You’ve got work to do, Matsumoto,” Toshiro replied, tone bored as he opened the bedroom door.

“Aw come on, Cap– Oh my!”

Rangiku looked devilishly delighted at the scene, and Toshiro totally mortified. It wasn’t every day that they walked into his bedroom to find a totally naked Squad Six lieutenant posing seductively across the mattress. Luckily, Renji had always been confident with his body.

Renji smirked, dragging his fingers through the rose petals. “Welcome home, Captain.”

“My, my,” Rangiku whistled lowly, fanning herself. “Now I know why you don’t want to come with me to the hot spring, Captain! You just want to have sex-”

“Matsumoto!” Toshiro hissed, shoving his lieutenant back out of his bedroom. “We’ll talk tomorrow, now go do your work.”

Rangiku left, albeit grumbling, but Renji knew she was secretly happy to give them some space tonight – although if she had it her way, she’d probably be in the corner watching and snacking on popcorn.

Toshiro and Renji had not had a lot of time to catch up since the battle against Kusaka. Rangiku had been by his side almost constantly (which Renji understood), and the pain relief drugs Unohana had him on had left him drowsy or delirious for most of the week. After a while, Renji had decided it was better to wait for Toshiro to recover before he tried having a serious discussion about their relationship.

After all, he still didn’t know how the captain felt about him.

The front door shut and Toshiro finally turned around, stepping back into the bedroom. He scowled at Renji, who could only grin back.

“I wish you’d have warned me,” Toshiro spoke tonelessly as he shrugged off his haori and hung it on a hook by the door.

“Sorry, Honey,” Renji smirked, once again unapologetic, as he sat up. “We haven’t had a lot of time to talk lately.”

“Don’t call me ‘Honey’,” Toshiro ordered, tone stern, as he climbed onto the bed and into Renji’s lap.

The lieutenant’s arms circled his waist. He reached for the captain and gently brushed some hair out of the man’s eyes. Today, after a week in the Fourth, teal looked tired but relieved – glad to be home. At the touch, Toshiro’s eyelids fluttered closed and he leaned into Renji’s palm. Renji smiled and leaned forward to capture those soft lips in a chaste kiss.

“I heard that you fought for me when they thought I had attacked Kyoraku,” Toshiro commented quietly when Renji pulled back, his eyes still closed and cheek still against the lieutenant’s palm. 

“I knew it wasn’t you,” Renji murmured.

“Thank you,” Toshiro whispered back. “I also heard you were worried about me.”

“We all were,” Renji grimaced. Ichigo must have let that one slip, but he was thankful for it. 

“I’m sorry,” Toshiro sighed. “I shouldn’t have pushed everyone away when you were all trying to help me.”

Even now, Renji picked up the subtle notes of fear in his voice. Toshiro had been scared.

“It’s okay, it’s over now,” Renji stroked the captain’s cheek with his thumb.

“I missed you,” Toshiro added, barely audible but the lieutenant caught it. Those breathtaking teal eyes opened, and they were searching.

“I missed you too,” Renji told him sincerely.

Toshiro’s lips twitched then, a slight smile trying to break through the icy exterior. He inhaled slowly and nodded to himself, as if that was all he needed to know tonight.

He leaned in closer and Renji hummed as those lips latched onto his neck and began to suck. Toshiro’s hands went for his obi sash first and then to pull his kosode top off.

He wasn’t wasting time, but Renji had other plans. He captured Toshiro’s thin wrists and held them still, halting their movements. Toshiro pulled away from his neck to throw him a questioning and somewhat challenging glare.

“I know Kusaka was your boyfriend,” Renji told him. One hand held the wrists, while the other rubbed soothing circles against the captain’s hip.

“He was before he died,” Toshiro replied, voice cautious, “...the _first_ time.”

“I know what he did to you,” Renji added carefully.

The captain froze. His eyes narrowed, suspicious of where this was headed. He dared Renji to say the words.

“He was abusive,” Renji continued. He couldn’t let this go unaddressed. “He hit you, he-”

Toshiro was already shaking his head, leaning away from Renji, his wrists tugging to get free. “I’m going to _kill_ Ichigo-”

Renji could have listed all the things Ichigo had told him, of all the despicable things Kusaka had done to his boyfriend – and it was a long list. But he didn’t. Toshiro knew; he didn’t need to be told.

“Hey,” Renji murmured softly, letting go of Toshiro’s wrists to wrap both arms securely around his waist. “We don’t have to talk about it tonight, but I need you to know right now that I’m not going to treat you that way.”

It was why Toshiro preferred one night stands now, wasn’t it? It was why he hadn’t invested in a romantic relationship since, why he even tried to avoid close friendships. There were certain exceptions – Rangiku, Momo, maybe even Ichigo to some extent – and Renji wanted to be an exception.

“Why do you care?” Toshiro asked, though his tone was accusatory and Renji didn’t like how broken that voice sounded. His walls were going up.

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Toshiro didn’t reply straight away, staring at him. His expression said he didn’t believe Renji, but his eyes said he wanted to. The lieutenant squeezed him gently. Patience wasn’t usually his forte, but he would do anything for the man in his arms.

After a moment, the captain seemed to – for the most part – accept Renji’s claim. He looked away, his head slightly ducked.

“I’m not ready to say that back,” he murmured at last.

“That’s okay,” Renji smiled, happy that Toshiro had at least believed him. “Will you give me a chance though?”

The captain only hesitated briefly before he nodded.

Renji grinned widely, leaning forward to kiss the captain’s cheek, and then the corner of mouth, and finally his lips. Toshiro met him and kissed him back, his smaller hands starting on Renji’s biceps and moving up to his shoulders.

Even if Toshiro didn’t fully trust him yet, he was willing to give them a chance – and that made Renji unbelievably happy. One day, he’d get those ice walls down.

For now, they could just enjoy each other’s company.

It was a slower kiss than they were used to, but Renji revelled in the taste of the captain’s lips and then his tongue when his mouth opened to let him in.

This time, Renji helped Toshiro get his kosode off, and he let his hands wander all over his back and chest – careful to avoid the healing wound – and hummed, feeling the soft skin under his fingers. When his hands dipped beneath the hakama pants, Toshiro bit Renji’s bottom lip appreciatively.

The captain’s lips moved, returning to Renji’s jaw first and then his neck, working wonders on the lieutenant, who was now starting to stiffen between his legs. Toshiro obviously felt it, giving an experimental roll of hips and groaning softly when met with a hardening bulge.

“I definitely missed this,” the captain murmured breathlessly and Renji smirked, tilting his head to give Toshiro more access.

It was on the verge of getting hot and heavy, which would be the gateway to them falling into their usual rough sex pattern. While they both enjoyed that, Renji had more tender plans for them tonight.

Without warning, he flipped them over.

There was a hint of confusion in the teal when Renji didn’t immediately pick back up the familiar rough pattern, but Renji pressed a reassuring kiss to Toshiro’s forehead.

“Let me be gentle with you tonight,” he requested quietly. He wanted to prove he cared.

Those teal eyes softened, understanding.

Toshiro reached up to cup Renji’s face, stretching his neck up to kiss him gently. After a moment, he pulled away, resting his forehead on Renji’s chin.

“I’d like that.”

And so that afternoon, Renji made love to Toshiro on a bed of rose petals – and it turned out to be the best sex of his afterlife.

He was gentle and slow, showing the captain that he deserved to be loved and treated well.

Renji had pulled off Toshiro’s hakama and tabi, the last of his clothes. He saw the new scar on his chest (and his back) that Kusaka had left him and Renji pressed a light kiss to it. No one would ever hurt Toshiro like that again.

He explored the captain’s whole body with his lips and tongue, taking the time to find out what he really liked. For so many months, their moments together were just about ripping each other’s clothes off and hitting every mark until they came. It was fun, but wasn’t about being a good lover.

Today was different.

Renji discovered Toshiro moaned when his neck was kissed, and moaned louder when his collarbone was kissed. He cared less for nipple play, and he grabbed Renji harshly by the testicles when tried to blow air into his belly button.

“Do that again and I will kill you.”

He was ticklish apparently, and not the least bit happy about it.

What the captain did like, which surprised Renji, was having his inner thighs kissed.

“R-Renji,” Toshiro was panting, sweating mess now. “I-Ah! I n-need you. N-now.”

Renji hummed. Soon.

He had two fingers inside the captain and was gently stretching him, but those muscles were clamping down every time Renji pressed his lips or tongue to Toshiro’s thighs. He bit him once, just to see what would happen, and Toshiro near climaxed.

“P-please,” Toshiro begged, moving to that stage once he realised what Renji had figured out.

The lieutenant had set up camp on those milky thighs, yet he hadn’t touched the captain’s weeping cock. It drove Toshiro to near insanity.

Renji added the third finger, all the while avoiding the prostate. He already knew, from the first night together, that touching it would drive Toshiro over the edge.

Still, Toshiro was a moaning mess – and that’s when Renji realised how much Toshiro knew about what he liked.

“Renji,” Toshiro groaned, his hand in the lieutenant’s hair and tugging none-too-gently, the ponytail long ripped out of its tie.

Renji gasped and found himself sliding back up Toshiro’s body to kiss him deeply again.

He had a number of big turn ons too – he loved having his neck and jaw being kissed, which was always Toshiro’s first move on him, he loved having his hair pulled and most importantly, he loved hearing his partner react vocally to him. Toshiro moaned for him, more now than he did the first night. He always used Renji’s first name when they fucked, because he knew it drove Renji to be downright animalistic.

Today he was avoiding being animalistic, and thankfully hearing his name from those soft lips had a different effect – it made him feel protective of his partner, and just a little bit territorial. He wanted to be the only person that made Toshiro moan, and he wanted the captain to trust him to do it.

Renji pulled back from the kiss to quickly lube up his shaft and then lined himself up with Toshiro’s entrance. He held Toshiro’s gaze as he slowly sunk into him.

Those teal eyes held love. Even though he hadn’t been able to say it, Toshiro loved him – he just might not have known it yet.

Fully sheathed, Renji leaned down to capture Toshiro’s lips again briefly.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, resting his forehead on Toshiro’s. “I meant what I said. I love you.”

Toshiro kissed him back in response, his soft hand cupping Renji’s cheek gently.

“I’m yours,” he murmured.

Renji smiled, and finally he began to move. Long, slow thrusts, feeling every part of Toshiro.

They kissed while he moved in him, until it became too much. Eventually Renji did hit Toshiro’s prostate, and it did drive the captain over the edge.

He came loudly, with Renji’s name on his tongue, and the lieutenant followed shortly after.

It was the most blissful feeling Renji had ever experienced in his long afterlife.

“Fuck, Babe,” Renji panted as he came back down from his orgasm high.

“Don’t call me ‘Babe’,” Toshiro batted his arm weakly, voice just as breathless. His other hand was on Renji’s sweaty back, his fingers dragging across his skin gently.

“How about ‘Gorgeous’?”

“... Only in private.”

“Alright, Gorgeous,” Renji smirked. It suited him, especially now – breathless, satiated and covered in his own semen.

Toshiro sighed quietly when Renji pulled out and got off him, and the lieutenant thought he heard the slightest of whimpers when he got off the bed so he hurried to the bathroom and back. Renji returned to the bed, cloth in hand, and cleaned Toshiro up, whose brow furrowed slightly at the care.

Afterwards Renji climbed back into the bed and pulled the covers up and over them. Rose petals were still scattered across the sheets and many had fallen to the floor, but the captain didn’t seem to mind. Toshiro curled against Renji’s chest and hummed tiredly.

“Will you be here when I wake up?” Toshiro asked through a whisper.

Renji pressed a chaste kiss to his temple. “Of course. Sleep well, Gorgeous.”

The captain hummed, seemingly satisfied with that and buried his face into Renji’s neck where he settled to sleep.

Renji smiled into Toshiro’s soft white hair, counting his lucky stars.

To think this all started with a party.

**Author's Note:**

> Please kudos and comment if you enjoyed this fic <3
> 
> If you would like to join our Bleach community Discord Server (The Seireitei), use the joining code: https://discord.gg/Zh8N2Ra


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